Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Michael Bay diarrhea
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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