is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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