Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
