he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
