At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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