I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
