Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think people are normalizing furries
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
