were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
