Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
