First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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