at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
third nipple confirmed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
