he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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