Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
