wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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