I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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