Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize