i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my poor anus
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
