How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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