come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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