she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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