I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
