..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
