perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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