Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
