their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
