you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
