I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
