ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize