Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dignity is for republicans.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
