if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
vagina is talking i cant
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
