After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
