did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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