There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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