im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
