I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
