based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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