sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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