Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
