I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
