Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize