i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
