I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
