Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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