well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
