Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i believe in u and ur pee
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