Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
