i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
