Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
