his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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