I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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