I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
