Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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