took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize