he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
