I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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