His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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