i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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