I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are we still banned from the library?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
