Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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